alton_lust (alton_lust) wrote,
alton_lust
alton_lust

Panic

Damnit.

My heat hasnt come on. I finally called the landlord & he was going to come turn whatever valve in the basement
This happens every year. Every. Year.

After waiting 2.5 hrs, I had no time left to wait around for him and I had to call & LIE, "no, my bad. Everything is fine!"
"I'm going to replace your thermostat anyway and have the heating company look at the system."
My heart immediately starts /hammering/
"I DONT WANT ANYONE IN MY HOUSE"

And he says "No, no one needs to come in & we'd give 24hr notice first if we did."

Which helped back me off a full blown panic attack...
BUT
I'm still in pretty severe panic attack mode

Arrrrrrrrrrgh

Do I have panic attacks because I'm a hoarder Or am I a hoarder because I have panic attacks?

I think the stuff is my defense against threats. Evil can not just waltz in and harm me willy nilly. This is MY space. Mine. Get Out!

O.O
Tags: mood
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