alton_lust (alton_lust) wrote,

Paula Poundstone

I really need to sleep so I can sign the early out list so I can get out of work and medicate my cat. But first...
I'm reminded of a bit Paula did about her cats. It's something along these lines...

"There was an earthquake and one of my cats ran up the chimney. Because that's what it says to do in case of an earthquake in the kitty emergency manual.
While it was up there it got a scratch on its eye. On the cornea. I had to take it into the shop and it came back with this big collar around it. Have you seen these things? It looks like a cheerleader had a megaphone and became over zealous and stuck their head right into it!
I get the cat home and my other cat decided it did not like the funnel headed cat any more. I was in another room when it happened, but apparently words were exchanged. The term "funnel head! funnel head!" was used.
I go in there and the cat without the funnel is crying. Apparently the funnel headed cat had poked her in the eye! So now I've got to take that one into the shop and sure enough, now I've got two funnel headed cats.
I know these things are supposed to stop the cat from scratching and opening up the injury but what it ALSO does is stop the cat from being able to lick anywhere on its body. Which means the cat can not bathe. And the reason cats bathe all the time is because they are filthy little animals! What they /can/ do, however, is lick the inside of the funnel REALLY LOUDLY. So now I'm trying to sleep and I'm wedged in between two filthy, smelly animals and all I can hear is *SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE* ..."
Tags: cats

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