alton_lust (alton_lust) wrote,
alton_lust
alton_lust

some thoughts

My father was a gentle man. Sometimes too gentle for my likings. I thought he sometimes allowed people to walk on him. Okay, he did. I suppose he had his reasons. It still bothers me. But all in all he was a gentle man.
He was also in military school, served in the army 169th, was an expert marksman, and earned blackbelts in two martial arts.
My brothers like to say they never heard him curse. I think they must have lived in a different house. Truth is he /almost/ cursed. "ShhhhhIP in the harbor!" "Son of A!" "Shhhhaving cream!" "Sheep Dip!". He didn't use the F word.
My dad was a construction worker. So...take that into account. A non-cussing construction worker. In New York City. Yeah.
That's another thing, my dad spent most of his life living and working in The City.
My dad had ME for a kid. He managed to not knock me out and replace me with another. Maybe he feared the replacement.
In an age of "Wait Till Your Father Gets Home" my dad was pretty fair about the spankings. He would lose his temper, sure. Me too. But the unofficial rules were that you run by dad, heading for your room, and he swings at you. You time your pass so that you don't end up bruised and yet he gets enough contact that his anger feels appeased. It was a good arrangement.
Almost forgot, my dad managed to be a leader. A boss. Respected. Without cursing or yelling. People just listened to him. He was a guest lecturer. I do not share this talent. I have no leadership. But I have spine. I think dad manged a better combo than I. More successful.
No, seriously, the gentle thing got on my nerves sometimes. I need advice here, dad! Advice on winning! Not 'let it go'. Hrumph. Maybe it isn't something you can teach. Like math. Dad trying to teach me math was Epic.
"blah blah X, blah blah Y, blah blah blah. See?"
"I don't get it."
"BLAH BLAH X BLAH BLAH Y BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
"You said the same thing. I still don't get it."
"BLAH BLAH X! Right there!"
"I can SEE it. I don't know what it MEANS!"
"BLAH BLAH X!"

I dunno. Just processing I suppose.
Tags: folks
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