2) Reminds me to verify something I read about Massachusetts scientists discovering that Big Tobacco has been manufacturing cigarettes to sneak through government tests with a low nicotine reading in a machine, but are engineered so that fingers holding the cigarette will block vents thus delivering a FAR higher dose of nicotine to the actual smoker. Sweet, eh?
3) DIE FASTER, SMOKERS. FASTER!
Yeah, I know. "Oh that's such a horrible thing to say! My _______ smokes and ...." blah blah blah. Shut up. They should NOT smoke. If you're all that fond of them make them quit. Shut up. Show me some data that says smoking is GOOD FOR YOU. Good for the family? Healthy for anyone? Have you read the package? Then STFU. Other people have managed to quit. STFU and DIE ALREADY.
Can you tell I work in a heavy smoke environment? What was your first clue?
4) DIE. AND STOP TAKING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WITH YOU, YOU SELF-OBSESSED SLIME.
*hoses them down with toxic air freshener*
Because...This was my day - Smokers do not comprehend that the other end of the cigarette produces far more smoke then they inhale. And if one points it out to them, politely, they say witty things like "So?". (Die faster.) Today I had 4 chain smokers perfectly happy to let me breathe in the far thicker smoke they weren't using for 6 hours. (Die faster.) Six hours of choking on 4 cigarettes at the same time. (Die faster.) Did I mention the cigar smoker? (Die faster.)
Irony: Today I was in the Non-Smoking section. Work has the place set up so that there are smoking sections IN the non-smoking section. I'm in the non-smoking section gagging on more smoke than I've had to choke down in months anywhere else. Go figure.