alton_lust (alton_lust) wrote,

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Cats and Bruce

Today. Or yesterday. I took the cats to the vet. At long last.

Now, most days I just can't fathom why the HELL I keep these annoying, screeching, vomiting, scratching, flea-carrying, little hell beasts in my apartment. I can't have anything nice or even not nice without them finding a way to destroy it. They SUCK.

But then I take them to the vet and they are all frightened and getting jabbed with needles and I remember that they were strays and I go all "Awww poor kitty!" For they have me wrapped. Damn them.

Bella, the girl, is a delicate little old lady cat. I tend to forget this when she's being her normal annoying self. The vet estimates that she's almost 15 years old now. Eesh! She's always the problem cat. I swear I've had more medical scares with this one cat than any of the other cats I've ever owned or known! Today the vet said that she has broken another tooth, is having a massive allergic reaction to the flea bits and has cataracts. (Personally, I think her hearing is also going but that's another day.) So she got her rabies, leukemia, booster and steroids shots. Poor little pin cushion. Plus she has to go back in a month to get her tooth fixed which they can't do until the steroids are out of her system. Poor little granny cat.

Bogart, on the other paw, is probably only 4 years old and is in good health except the one ear I didn't clean out which may have a yeast infection. In the ear? Whatever. Only 3 shots for him. Plus they both are having Revolution skin drops to kill ALL possible parasites because Bo goes outside.

They were very brave. No biting or scratching and only one break for freedom from Bo. :) But lord did he whine about being in a box!

And now, the Bruce Campbell Book Signing. Where I was boring (much like here) but did not talk myself into complete arsehood (unlike here).
Army of Darkness, Evil Dead, Autolycus from Hercules, Brisco Country Jr, etc etc. Nice guy. Pretty funny books.

The other part of my day was sleeping through the Bruce Campbell film festival. Would have been fun to attend with fellow fans, but I just needed sleep more. I did get to the book signing afterwards! I've never been to one before. It's a long wait. Good thing he gave us something to read, yes? He's a planner. :)
I have to confess, I have /nothing/ to say to this man. "Gosh you're cute"? "I like your work"? Buddy, I've waited 2+ hours to have you sign a book. You're a smart guy. Those are a given, right?
Me: "Hi. Almost done." I was the next to last fan in line. He nodded. I handed him the book and he opened it, folded a page back and must have been waiting for me to say something fannish. I was silent.
"So...who is this for?"
And I gave him my name. One of my online names. Which got a little hesitation and he asked me about it. I gave the usual one line joke reply.
"Ooookay. I like it." *chuckle* [This, btw, is THE reply given by people who work with the public when something comes at them that is supposed to be a joke. I hear it a lot at work. Bruce has his cliches down. :) ]
He handed the book back.
"Thank you. Have a good night," I said. For I am THE Most Boring Fan Ever. And because I can never quite leave without at least a token gesture of making an arse of myself I stopped, turned back and said, "You look good". Like he CARES. He was onto the next fan anyway. Eh. He did look good. I have to wonder if he was wearing make-up because his skin was just perfect and clean shaven. Hmm. Bruce is a metrosexual! Not that there's anything wrong with being groomed and visiting an iron. ;) I could also tell you he is not too muscular, has nice eyes and his hair was at normal human being height. (Heh.)
Oh wait, I was not arse enough. The last fan in line, (I gave up that honor because I knew I was going to be boring), was a young man who had been in line talking about how he wanted Bruce to sign his nipple or his d*ck. Drunk? No, probably just young. Anyway he had Bruce talk to his friend on the cellphone. Bruce did. I think even Bruce was surprised when the kid on the other end did not grok "I hear you're a little light in the loafers". (*facepalm*) So Bruce said, "Kid, I've got some very important advice for you so listen up. Are you listening? It's important. Okay, here it is." And he hung up the phone. "That should hold him for awhile." Snarky? Bruce? Nah! Or maybe just tired and been there and middle-aged not taking crap from the young and stupid? And no, the kid did not whip any skin out to get it signed. Meanwhile I was thinking to myself that I didn't get a handshake. Maybe I could ask for a handshake? But when I asked the bouncer at the door he was VURY grumpy. Like, no words, just grump noises. So kaboxed that idea. Everyone just wanted to go home. And I felt the proper arse that I am. Yay! LOL.

I chatted up the sound guy in the theater for more than a half hour. He got very chummy. :) But Bruce? No chatting for Bruce. What do you say? It's too much pressure to be original and come up with something he /might/ find interesting and yet will only take 2 minutes to discuss to a mutually satisfactory conclusion. GAH! Meeting celebrities is surreal. Melting watches type surreal.

I am THE Most Boring Fan. But at least I wasn't a complete arse. Do celebrities come away from such things thinking that same thought? "At least I didn't make a complete arse of myself." They must.

His signature is NOT a signature. It looks /nothing/ like "Bruce Campbell". It's a zorro mark with a curl on the end. I just found this out. But after a 3 hour signing stint I can understand.

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